- take a risk. take a chance. make a change. n' break away -

i am sick. that swollen eyes from the blocked nose and the head feels overheated; just before that MASSIVE RED arrow points at "caution: fatal level of heat", it explodes into tiny heavy stars and descends by the iris; hence the migraine. just as u thot it ended there, nono. the body; it feels so hot its MISinterpreted the heat as cold and get goosebumps intsead!! yeah. way to go kinnie! keeping up the tradition alright! haha. sick on bdays. started when i died briefly the eve of my 6th from a massive asthma. havent looked back on that tradition ever since.

yes. as opposed to yesterday's reason to skipping uni, today's reason is more valid. i am sick. ooh. had a convo with mr. santiago earlier. shall do myself a favour and shan't pretend n' say i dont miss him or hv stopped loving him entirely - even if it was just "friendship" love. i STILL do. after all, with the way we "ended" it sometimes feel like we left it hanging; flaunting, n' especially haunting, for me still being HERE; having to face momentary moments when something about melby, something about the weather, some places or something someone said reminds me of me, him. us. but tt was way in the past. a yr ago but still.

hehe. yeah ling, i owe u that caramel frap. he remembers my bday after all! haha. i cannot deny i was enthralled by his remembering my bday. he was never good at remembering birth dates. so. hey! i must mean as much. urm.. yeps ..coolness? t'was great chattin with him. made me realise even more how emotionally independant i've become. its been an arduous process. indeed.

oh hey. he wanted to present me with a flight to nz as a bday gift! i said no of course.

aside from the-very-fascinating convo with *the ex, today has been a blurry day. in-a-literal-non-figurative sense, completely devoid of any energy to do any euber extraneous activity; like the customary jumping rnd. twirling and spinning.. urm CHECK! in fact, ive discovered, being sick, i have the ability to do just those while sitting completely still! amazing! right. ok. being a smart arse has definitely seized any ...urmm. watchamacallit? i forgot. nvm. im gona lie down nw. [break away - kelly clarkson].