time: 10:51am
music: hopelessly devoted to you - olivia newton john
mood: grape-mentos-y.
to: you.
you wrote about the ghost you never met
about pretty beauty that wilts into pain
yet dries a lovely scent in your scathed palm
blows the breeze tt breathes into your wounded heart.
you wrote about a guiding angel
about the angel who lives in the girl u forgot to love
only cos u take n' took n' finally let go.
n' those highways we lent ourselves to
only for us to travel a one-way road.
so tt u left your brand new old little robot,
me.. stranded.
but for the brand new old 'u',
i need but just a little time
so i'll finally find my way back home
beyond the looking glass
n' beyond our looking eyes
maybe just squinch. so, you will see me
or maybe? throw me then, you will feel me
follow these invisible footsteps i've left behind
n' u'll find me,
i'll be hanging in the rafters
of my lost mind,
(still) waiting for you...
Where is my mind?
i could have dropped it on my way home last night. or maybe, left it at a bus seat a few years back when i was rushing to alight through the morning madness. it was quiet. dull just three house ago. n' in this silence, i realise the heaviness of my breathing. i listened silently to my body n' its heavy shuffles to the bathroom for my shower, then my thumps to my daily morning caffeine intoxication. i didnt have to remind myself to breathe; like how i have to remind myself to study, or set the alarm to live the tomorrows. my body operates with OR without my permission. if my 'mind' were here today, i would be painfully aware of my actions. perhaps my heart has taken over the responsibilities that once belonged to me human consciousness. PERHAPS, also explaining why reason is suddenly lost to me, as i plunge into 'danger' loosely (mis)translated as 'solutions'. aha! alas. this heart is careless with its words.
until i find my mind, i have every right to be as arrogant as this body.
last night presented a completely brand new experience for me. i, nur asyikin hamzah apologise for having sorely misjudged our lil nation, singapore, when it comes to providing disclosure for local amatuer artistic-film-makers. last night's session was fantabulous n' made me wish i was vid-cam fancy myself! (unfortunately, im quite the technology-illiterate). i guess i'll just stick to being the writer/ poet or whatever it is u wish me judged. remember in "she's all that"? - be silent, be still'?? there were three segments in the session. of which, i enjoyed the first; (5cm) - an abstract/ poetic film portraying the 'physics' of the fine line between humans, from knowing one another's stories. the second one (project panties), was generally "huh!?-fied". so i shan't bother going in depth about it.
the third one (sisters) on the other hand, which was lis' friends docu shot, was an excellent job with their documentary on the transvestites in our population. tittled "Sisters", the documenatary expose the struggles n' controversies faced by this minority group in the singaporean society, figuratively AND literally "pushed to the corner" to the end of singapore; the changi village. despite singapore being one of the most modern-westernised asian country, there are still widespread misconceptions when it come to the situations n' the circumstances of the these 'sisters'. "gender-confused" would be a term most un-ethically, n' [even] possibly the last expression to use, to describe them. for, from this documentary, i realised that 'they' were never confused with who they had to be. in fact, the better lot of them are definitely more comfortable with themselves than we, majority, ever can be with ourselves. there are so many more issues that can be delved more in depth.. ultimately, all im saying is, lis' friends' documentary was a 10-thumbs-up worth production! =)
*
saw this majorly hot dude on the train last night; worth bloggin about.
i think he would have definitely heard our whipers/ giggles/ gossipings n' OBVIOUS oogling from the (duh-uh!) screen mirroring us. arh well. not like we're ever gona be seeing him again. ALTHOUGH, i could base myself at khatib stn (where he alighted last night) in hopes of "running" into him again. then i cld say 'hi' at my .. maybe fourth 'run-in' (??), then blame it on destiny. hahaha. tts a plan.
right now, my voice bellows as i assures ma that i am getting dressed to go out, instead of blogging. school tonight shld be fun. i miss monash sometimes. like now? i miss caulfield n' def miss the crappy 2nd hand computers monash hands down to us psychology students from the engineering faculty. oh. n' i miss the STA coffee. hmm. yumm-ey!
alrightey. im out. blog again later i s'pose.
p/s: u guys... next meet-up? "romeo loves juliet" on the 15th?? we shld start booking tics soon. yesh?
