time: 6:14pm
music: autumn's monologue - from autumn to ashes.
mood: fruity!
oh-shitt-O!
i need to be friggin twenty-one years old.
heck. i'm just blardy 6mths away.
gimme a break! ..
ok. erm. pls?
**
chilled with the lings at the very chilly coffeebean where we talked, chilled and ranted about the twisted changes in our lives, as opposed to just mere 4-5mths ago. but im happy to say ratty jeans, bargain jayjay tops and 10bux coats tt stinks of turpentine aside, donned in biz-ish attires, other things really havent changed at all. lings still lings; and kins still kins. we trip. we fall. we talk. we goss. we bitch. we compliment. we love and yes.. we still rock it up with multi coloured feels.
i lurb-lurb lings cos she reminds me constantly of tt fun-ner-than-i-make-myself-out-to-be side of me. i am proud to be her only NON-alcoholic friend who still, in her sober state, is able to be equally crazy, equally hyped, and equally sishhayy it up on the dancefloor, as lings does with 'x' amount of tequila shots n' heapsaloadsatonsa other whatnots beverages. clearly, i am not as sad as i make myself out to be. i swear. (but lings! not sad? those britney spears "born to make u happy" dance steps we cheographed? i dont know if tts sad or just very sad ?!).
to sum it up, yes.. most ppl see me, perceive me, and for some reason i give a first impression of a bkwork who cuddles up in bed on a saturday night, spends hrs on the net blogging and never goes out. erhmm. right. ... but...well, ok, i do those BUT there's also a 20yrs old fun person lodged somewhere horrr!
(more) other things that havent changed are of course, lthe fact tt ing's attached and oh-so-vewyyy-in-lurb while kins still neither attached, nor in lurb. lings still the reality check-ER n' kins still the reality-checkED. siiiiighhhhhh* the truth is, as cynical as i am about these whole bgr thing, admittedly, i feel heartstrings tugs whenever she, or anyone for tt matter, rant on about how.. stable ? n' ..secure ? they're with their rships. yes. before u reiterate the same ol' "my time will come", i'd just like to say that i am beginning to think i have somewhat lost the ability to "invest" too much into a significant other. maybe he's even in front of me and i just dont wanna see him ? or maybe? i havent even met him yet. well, all i know is, right this moment, i really cannot imagine myself someone's partner and loving so completely, i'd lose myself; as i have in my past rships. lings said its not about forgetting, because its simply impossible to unknow someone.. it's about letting go and giving it up.
i know this doesnt happen much but i guess, ultimately, im just waiting for that magic tt'll sweep me off my feet.
***
arkh.. well. its not like im all hard up for lovin'. haha.
right. so on other matters, like vocation? i need to be friggin twenty one!
harumph... where is the justice!?
