subject: i want i want
time: 9:49pm
music: watching tv
mood: ---

here here! i am spitting cliches' again.
all.
everything.
nothing.
except.
never.
ok!
only.
i am looking forward to rediscovering my mornings behind my off-white curtains and pink wallpaper-ed walls. to waking up before my neighbourhood does so i can whisper secrets into the dreamy hue air. i miss watching the sunrise; it is beautiful and reminds me that the first things to go are usually the ones we thought would last forever. (now all i have of you are like parallels and broken tangents).

i have been counting down the number of steps to reach the familiar here. it is. it is easy to be wrong, or lost, or both. only because we're governed by the idea of the non-existent eternal return. to what name do we place an unfamiliar familiarity that exceeds dictionary definition and rises above the skies to challenge the notions of our godfathers? it is embedded in a beat in my mind, my soul, and i have to remind myself this is not a dream. nothing lasts forever. so, in earnest i take a half-step out of my safe corners; one step, wait, maybe two back and the world stops turning over, and all is solid and comforting yet again. i don't want to lose me again. dear friends, please remind me to be me?

changi prisons HQ research psych. me. confirmed. 9th 8:45am. it's unnerving how subtle life is drawing in. this is me. nur asyikin hamzah. this is me.