subject: ice princess.
time: 9:51am
music: i'm ok (i promise) - my chemical romance.
mood: grouchy.

diam arh!

another brand new day. if i had the guts, i'd forward the office phone to my hp and not come into work at all. or maybe, i'll slp in and creep into office at noon and noone will notice. yeah. but u all know i'll never.. so i'll just shuddup about tt already. i have a feeling today's gona be a stretch. yesterday i spewed about "getting the gist" of this job - today i'm more gist-ed (??); i realised (slow, i know) that i have two bosses who handle different sorts of properties - private (sale/rental), and HDB (sale/rental). so, because of this (dhoh), their demands are quite diverse and there's only one poor me. i get confused sometimes. and on the phone, they sound so similar! sometimes, i feel like im dreaming; i have a blardy degree and i'm stil so slowwwww... guess this was what ma was talkin about - me having to come down from the clouds and live reality with the other mortals.

so this morning, i have a feeling both bosses are gona come in, so i'm using this time to rant. after all, ive done the basic; coffee bought/ drank. emails checked. faxes checked. offices open officially at 10am. so ive got till then before i start calling and harassing people for their properties. how fun. well, hello world. gdmorning to you too. unfortunately, i'm in a "get out of my face" mode, so i'm sorry if i happen to snap at you. ok? [sorry mama].

my mind gets so quiet sometimes that i think i might just go mad. where is my mind? is it even here? maybe i left it at the bus stop 6 years ago while i was chasing after the morning bus to sch. try breathing in and then back out. TRY IT! - i wonder if i'm the only one; this heart constraint, non-life-ish, back-to-square-one phenomena. i remember i cld do just that and feel free-er aftewards. now, i feel as trapped as i was before. i'm probably not making sense. lately, the convenience of indifference is so tempting. so easy to be irresponsible, and give up. but my excuses; they arent excuses anymore. they've become redundant and old and rusty and lame. a hasbeen. sometimes i just wanna give up, if only there was a course for that.

where do i sign up?

lay-terz..