subject: playact.
time: 3:01pm
music: who makes you feel - dido
mood:
destructive.
time: 3:01pm
music: who makes you feel - dido
mood:
destructive.
the lovers, there are plentiful. quite forgiving in heart and soul and only the horrible silence of what makes us human. in this story lips are tainted opaque blank scarlet (the brightest of!) with the harsh echoes of quiet chaos. beautiful catastrophe of a portrait of heartwrenching torture, by only that which a kiss can bring the solitude of eve biting her ugly red apple, death is just a temptation sold to those who lack strength. the coursing river is like foaming papercuts; we track them with eagerness. in our hearts, we are vehement that fairy tales come true. there is a radiance in our gloom that will outlive all, we are.
kick my smile to the back of my face and the rate i'm going, i only want to be devastating and treacherous all at once. i am dancing a murderess' waltz and every first flicker of consciousness in me is at the peak of a symphony's crescendo that can never release itself. suspended! the parasympathetic refuses redemption; seeks vindication, live by obligations: so that it is an endless anticipation. we are celebrating because it's fun to be young and wanting to die but never daring enough to, so we keep on running, we keep on hiding behind cowardly self-destruction. repeat the same borrowed lines over and over again. it's bright outside. yes, this i know ... but you must know that inside, i am as ungraceful and ungrateful as the next brute. i am the worst of the lot and this is why i keep myself shut inside.
....
kick my smile to the back of my face and the rate i'm going, i only want to be devastating and treacherous all at once. i am dancing a murderess' waltz and every first flicker of consciousness in me is at the peak of a symphony's crescendo that can never release itself. suspended! the parasympathetic refuses redemption; seeks vindication, live by obligations: so that it is an endless anticipation. we are celebrating because it's fun to be young and wanting to die but never daring enough to, so we keep on running, we keep on hiding behind cowardly self-destruction. repeat the same borrowed lines over and over again. it's bright outside. yes, this i know ... but you must know that inside, i am as ungraceful and ungrateful as the next brute. i am the worst of the lot and this is why i keep myself shut inside.
....
WALK THE TALK!
WALK THE TALK!
WALK THE TALK!
walk the talk!
salutation planeteers! =)
the Yellow.Ribbon.ProjeKt yesterday was brilliant! ahuh. i reckon t'was. something, i hope has someway or another stirred some kind of public awareness.
the Yellow.Ribbon.ProjeKt yesterday was brilliant! ahuh. i reckon t'was. something, i hope has someway or another stirred some kind of public awareness.
perhaps, it is in my nonchalance and my having studied in "the-world'-most-humanitarian-country" (a.k.a dwnundah *oi!*oi!*oi!* - i reckon so anyways) that i've always held the percept of singapura's indifference and lack of concern of the less fortunate; adamant in abiding by darwin's "survival of the fittest". in yesterday's case, t'was the ex-offenders; or as we have re-established yesterday, "our clients".
the day started out for us R&P-ians at the orchard mrt stn, bright and early 7:30am, all spruced in coporate-wear and "on" for caffeine (in any format really). i'd started feeling the oncoming of a massive migraine and knew it was a given: starbux was the way to go (coffeebean was momentarily considered, but surpassed), and caramel machiato -i made my forte. chris, carynn, bernice and i hung around starbux before sishayying our cute butts to the second level for registration. the crowd, i must say, was pretty impressive. with impressive looking people.. whom i was sure were impressive in status. impressive, i say!
it was yellow all through the day (like mr. happy). from Dr. Vivian Balakrishnan's opening address at 9am to moses' and carol's presentation on the RPM project, to jana stanfield's acoustic performances, i believe i was WOW-Y-ed sufficiently and all over again overwhelmed by ... lucky stars. how did i get myself here ...? being the silly-doink that i am reputable of, i must have done something right to be here, this i thought to myself (a few times the whole of yesterday in fact).
during the wk, we were afore-hand assigned roles as note-takers for the various workshops held. and seeing how my (and bernice's) current project entails "children of incarcerated parens" >>C.H.I.P.S. (how creative.tsk*), it was an unspoken decision that i attended workshop 2: Engaging Prisoner's Families; Effects of Parental Incarceration on Young Children. so, after raiding the buffet tables 2-3times with yours-truly bernice tay like a pair of jakun rabbits during teabreak, 1:30-workshop commenced.
the day started out for us R&P-ians at the orchard mrt stn, bright and early 7:30am, all spruced in coporate-wear and "on" for caffeine (in any format really). i'd started feeling the oncoming of a massive migraine and knew it was a given: starbux was the way to go (coffeebean was momentarily considered, but surpassed), and caramel machiato -i made my forte. chris, carynn, bernice and i hung around starbux before sishayying our cute butts to the second level for registration. the crowd, i must say, was pretty impressive. with impressive looking people.. whom i was sure were impressive in status. impressive, i say!
it was yellow all through the day (like mr. happy). from Dr. Vivian Balakrishnan's opening address at 9am to moses' and carol's presentation on the RPM project, to jana stanfield's acoustic performances, i believe i was WOW-Y-ed sufficiently and all over again overwhelmed by ... lucky stars. how did i get myself here ...? being the silly-doink that i am reputable of, i must have done something right to be here, this i thought to myself (a few times the whole of yesterday in fact).
during the wk, we were afore-hand assigned roles as note-takers for the various workshops held. and seeing how my (and bernice's) current project entails "children of incarcerated parens" >>C.H.I.P.S. (how creative.tsk*), it was an unspoken decision that i attended workshop 2: Engaging Prisoner's Families; Effects of Parental Incarceration on Young Children. so, after raiding the buffet tables 2-3times with yours-truly bernice tay like a pair of jakun rabbits during teabreak, 1:30-workshop commenced.
i was graced with the presence of a few officials and representatives from several major foundations. and after brief introductions, the whole workshop commenced with a high-energy ice-breaker (/slash/) "energiser". the workshop was conducted in a talkshow format and we had various guest speakers; all of whom experienced or related in one way or another with either volunteer foundations, or were members of the prison staff (as was i). mdm. sharifah blew us all away with her anecdote of her son's arrest and her experiences the past years, with having a family member incarcerated.
as if her story wasnt enough to humanise me, it was even more tremendously heartwrenching, watching the video put together of the Mother's Day special at Changi Women's Prison. having been in the prison classrooms myself; (and believe me, it ain't like no ordinary classrooms), watching the video astral.projected me there myself. alongside the lil children. the segment began with a cry-out "happy mothers' day" greeting before the juniors rushed (like literally ran) into their mothers' arms. and from then on, it was the "touch-n'-feel" thereupatic session - where the children and mothers held hands (the simplest form of affection by touch), to the children talking animatedly to their mothers about what i presume, their lives and when it came to farewell, it was just a myriad of concurrent heartbreaks all over again. stab*stab*stab to the heart. i was so touched and humbled; and i knew everyone else in the ballroom were too.
>>confession: like a baby, i teared sporadically, discreetly wiping away those tears. and so did the dude next to me. hee*hee.
the big dialogue session laterwards saw a few of "our clients" standing up, and voicing their appreciation and again, i felt that bile rise up; knowing how much they've went through and how much more they have to face - what not? with all the stigmatization that is entailed in being an ex-offender. especially in a judgmental society like our country is.
come the finale, i had fun with balloons. lay theng, caleb, greg and myself had a blast volleyballing the balloons across the ballroom. i was even captured on several films drawing a LOVE (complete with doodles of heartshapes all around it and sunshine 'O' in LOVE)across my yellow balloon, being the "nura" that i am like a dodo that i am. yep. i am. but completely humbled by the whole deal, i am. i am.
so I AM back here in my office space reflecting on yesterday and everything i have come to know in the last few months working here- the "other side of singapore-living" that not many people are aware of. or, for some who are aware and experiencing it, unspoken. i thought the YRP was a remarkable start to "something" and hopefully, ... "the talk could be walked"...
as if her story wasnt enough to humanise me, it was even more tremendously heartwrenching, watching the video put together of the Mother's Day special at Changi Women's Prison. having been in the prison classrooms myself; (and believe me, it ain't like no ordinary classrooms), watching the video astral.projected me there myself. alongside the lil children. the segment began with a cry-out "happy mothers' day" greeting before the juniors rushed (like literally ran) into their mothers' arms. and from then on, it was the "touch-n'-feel" thereupatic session - where the children and mothers held hands (the simplest form of affection by touch), to the children talking animatedly to their mothers about what i presume, their lives and when it came to farewell, it was just a myriad of concurrent heartbreaks all over again. stab*stab*stab to the heart. i was so touched and humbled; and i knew everyone else in the ballroom were too.
>>confession: like a baby, i teared sporadically, discreetly wiping away those tears. and so did the dude next to me. hee*hee.
the big dialogue session laterwards saw a few of "our clients" standing up, and voicing their appreciation and again, i felt that bile rise up; knowing how much they've went through and how much more they have to face - what not? with all the stigmatization that is entailed in being an ex-offender. especially in a judgmental society like our country is.
come the finale, i had fun with balloons. lay theng, caleb, greg and myself had a blast volleyballing the balloons across the ballroom. i was even captured on several films drawing a LOVE (complete with doodles of heartshapes all around it and sunshine 'O' in LOVE)across my yellow balloon, being the "nura" that i am like a dodo that i am. yep. i am. but completely humbled by the whole deal, i am. i am.
so I AM back here in my office space reflecting on yesterday and everything i have come to know in the last few months working here- the "other side of singapore-living" that not many people are aware of. or, for some who are aware and experiencing it, unspoken. i thought the YRP was a remarkable start to "something" and hopefully, ... "the talk could be walked"...
