subject: why
time: 8:15pm
music: kryptonite - guy sebastian
mood: cheerful

applaud for these thousands of pieces of broken hearts; of all of them embedded in the things i have done; or maybe the lack thereof - every little thing i have and have not, could and could not conceive in the last two decades. but it has always remained vacant. always only an empty space in that jigsaw puzzle spot, detached from the coherent remnants. i am fallen before falling. fallen before .. remember how i would pick after your fallen promises off the pavement so i would stop tripping over them?

you were right all along: the convenience of indifference enthralls too much of the human nature. i am your closet, your yearbook. i don't know about you, but if say, i find myself in another empty room with no doors, no walls, no windows and ceilings that climb further than my hands can reach, i will know that to be love. the pointlessness despite a universal conscience that tells us otherwise. the arrogant poet becomes prey in her own maze.

i know love; its pre-mediated self-suffocation and synonymous to pain; an addiction, a drug, a sin, the kind of quiet confessions to break a static silence. i know what is love. but why is it? why must it be?