subject: red
time: 11:45am
music: where i landed- denali
mood: procastinating


; changeling

i am changing. then again, i was never constant to begin with. perhaps change is my only constant. changeling; i am the undecided nomad, the impractical lover, the wavering fair-weathered friend, the forgetful enemy, the princess and prisoner of my own tower, the happily tortured artiste, the weak will of Ulysses, your favorite conversation, most magical dream, all that you want but don't need and need but don't have. and so it is. explosions in a furnace of madness of the most beautiful dream. i am lying backdown facing a blackness vaster than infinity, more blinding than the light of day. lined up by my side are droplets of oblivion, no longer white but a psychedelic mix of purple and pink. and they dribble as i wonder if i only could, if only, fly out of this uncertain body, fly above the buildings past antennas and mini satellites, into hot-cold zones, electric waves and radio-magnetic currents, landscapes pulled so quick they are a continuous dali visual, around night and day, beside light and particles, a sunset lake, until finally slower lower towards a wide-open window and re-enter the body of unsureity.

as evidence, i was sufficiently bored out of my wits! not that i had much to spare in the first place. but see how i can be on tv, the computer and internet all at once!!!! ?? pfffftttttt* reviews are boring. afterhourswork "work" commitment gnaws at my brain cells; the little bit left off, unstability eats me up to spit me back onto redearth all messy. but more than anything else, unsureity is the massive-st killer. it kills you from the inside. out.