foolish games

(this is how i feel most of my life): i am sitting here, but i am somewhere else completely, desperately piecing the words together that are scattered perfectly across the surfaces in the few and far-between fossils, a few artifacts i've left behind or maybe not because i am after all, still sitting here: utterly aware, completely listening but just like that, i'll just.... forget. i am at two places at once and although i'm pretty sure i'm heading somewhere i can be safe in, my options have become limitless and full of infinities. too much sugar infinities and possibilities i reckon! and i just want to keep moving. keep on moving depite happy grim facades and barriers walled up. concrete is equals to distrust descontruction minus the weight of the air in a few thousand miles. i'm so tired because i don't know what this is all for, except that the endorphines are convincing me that i'm happy. i just want to be happy. either way -