S T A Y
you say i only hear what i want to.
you say i talk so all the time so.
and i thought what i felt was simple,
and i thought that i don't belong,
and now that i am leaving,
now i know that i did something wrong 'cause i missed you.
yeah, i missed you.
and you say i only hear what i want to:
i don't listen hard,
i don't pay attention to the distance that you're running
or to anyone, anywhere,
i don't understand if you really care,
i'm only hearing negative: no, no, no.
so i turned the radio on, i turned the radio up,
and this woman was singing my song:
the lover's in love, and the other's run away,
the lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay.
some of us hover when we weep for the other who was
dying since the day they were born.
well, this is not that:
i think that i'm throwing, but i'm thrown.
and i thought I'd live forever, but now i'm not so sure.
you try to tell me that i'm clever,
but that won't take me anyhow, or anywhere with you.
you said that i was naive,
and i thought that i was strong.
i thought, "hey, i can leave, i can leave."
but now i know that i was wrong, 'cause i missed you.
you said, "i caught you 'cause i want you and one day i'll let you go."
"you try to give away a keeper, or keep me 'cause you know you're just scared to lose.
and you say, "stay."
you say i only hear what i want to.
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Gdmorning!~
it's 2 more days to examSSss - ie - death; the ceasing/ ceasement/ ceaseness (???) of my very existence. why oh why do i have big dreams as mine? tis the cause of all my troubles? i watch too many movies - and how does that make you feel? - fantasize too many dreams, expect too much from myself and the world - when really, this world is just a giant ball of disappointment. why oh why am i always an emo emo emo person?
pessimist! hiss* emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo emo
hahas!
we stayed up the whole of last night. i'm up to number 8 by the way. going slow and steady. at least i [sorta] understand. bored, jenaie and kinnie recorded kal's snores, jeanie made a collage of ling and moi BUT accidentally deleted it herself!... at 3am, we woke kal up and all of us went out for a walk down high street to blockbuster to return the over-due dvds. haha. it was freakin cold!!! stars weren't out last night. had been that way the past few nights. my stars arent out. after dropping off the dvds, we walked all the way to safeway JUST to check if it was open. t'was fun. i mean, not crazy fun but nice. i never get to do this sort of things when im alone. i'm too chicken to walk down the streets of preston at night alone..
heavy silence hung over us as we walked home. t'was cold. very. wish someone was there to hold my hand or hug the bitter cold away. i pondered about my life - where i'll be in 10yrs time. and if then, i wld rem a once upon a night ago when i wondered.
..cyclical..
we got home at about 4 plus -- frozen. no... this not a figure of speech - it's real. we thawed by eating some sausages i threw in the oven and i even cooked scrambled eggs - all these at 5am! i was too tired to study and i figured even if i sat in front of a book, nothing will go in, so, we sat through kutch kutch hota hair [again!!]! haha.. shah rukh khan is the bomb! jeanie: he's mine! all mine! mwuahahahaha*evil luffs* i wanna be in love!!!!!!! *MR. LOVE plz come my way again?* sighz*
while singing to "bring me to life" - realization dawned and i've found her. yess... haha.. last year, i lost her. i thought that being me was childish and ridiculous and i guess peter kinda indirectly pressured me to be this person i'm not. so what if i speak in singlish? so what if i dont pronounce words correctly. no no. and if i sing loudly and out of tune? so what?! heh.. i dont blame him. it's me. i'm searching for me. still is and i have a feeling, i'll always be - that's life. i was/ am just weak.
so that was it. the three of us fell aslp on the couch. it was freezing this morning when i woke up. thought it was 1pm - couldnt differentiate the long hand from short hand of the clock. manzzz.. my eyesight is becoming worst! dragged myself upstairs where i am now. took a long long long long hot shower and here i am! my new fav song: "look what you've done" by jet. i still am obsessed with "the reason" by the way.
..LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE..
Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to prove
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won
Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
nice? nice? manzzz... i dont even relate to this song. who am i kidding? this song is for the dumpee to sing. not me.
all that aside, today is yet another study day. i feel as if none of the things i studied yesterday went into my head. thing is, im worried about bio/dev - the exam on tuesday. last year, at this time, i was all screwed up in the head - i failed! didnt wanna admit that. but i did. but stupid 4 marks. coz of that, i had to sit through an extra one whole sem of MARLIEs-bitch's class. can't afford to fail AGAIN!
then, im worried about the 3000 words sociology essay due on wednesday. i have to write about LOVE .. haha.. how hrmm.. ironic??
tAKiNG it A sTEP at a tiME.
i really should write that up in BIG BOLD LETTERS and paste it above my study table.
as of now, everyone's still aslp. think abang just woke up though. he's working the whole day. ok. gona make myself a big mug of COFFEE and start my drill. tis the exam periods PEOPLE! exams kill! just like how LOVE destroys!
ps: i amaze myself with how much bullshit i can come up with- out of nothing. haha.. i didnt even have anything to update and look how much crap ive typed! tis true - certified naggy makcik. damn longwinded.
