subject: space is not just a place for stars.
time: 8pm
music: blowers' daughter - damien rice
mood: vanilla-ed.

space is not just a place for stars.

tis' left us in ashes
tis' left us in puddles
tis' left us unfinished
so now, that's all there is.
**
this morning i woke up from a dream,
or nightmare . . . maybe ?
i was at my own wedding.
it was kecoh (chaotic) as every melayu wedding usually is,
the seamstress (???) was fitting me in a gweorgeous royal white/gold kebaya,
i cldnt move. . .
n' someone else was pinning my hair up.
i was screaming "i'm too young! im barely 21! im too young!!!"
reiterating over and over, obviously, to everyone's oblivion cos,
i was upset. really upset. unprepared. un-ready.
n' all i saw,
all i remembered,
was my ma, pa, n' my gazillion relatives really happy
at my union with Mr. X.

tis' has happened before; this nightmare
and ea time, i'd look but never really see Mr. X
n' i wake up ea time wondering if this look-but-not-see phenomena
is a reflection of my reality. .