time: 9:45am
music: i'll be - edwin mcCain.
mood: optimistic-er than yest.
LOVE SUICIDE.
i am alien to my body.
i do not wish to see it tortured
marked for suicide
there is no escaping this
i am too afraid to let go again.
so i went running.
n' i run to the beat of my mending heart.
till i cldnt breath.
i stopped to watch life
in motion.
more random un-new things:
**
my nescafe cuppa.
(thank god for 3-in-1s)
the morning gray
streaming through
translucent white.
the songs
my laundry
dumped on the chest
the monitor
becomes a mirror
into my self-indulgence
my self-obsession
my self-hate
with my unhappy guilty thoughts
i am nothing
with these little fingers
typing
across this keyboard
clicking shifting deleting
forgetting
typing the unimportant bits
deleting backspacing shifting
enter
the remnants of myself
two minutes ago
and still
hopeless as ever before.
**
sister has left for camp.
3 days. my room is MY room.
((missing her already))
went for a jog.
(i am that depressed/sad/unhappy/stressed/outofcontrol)
i hate me.
nono. i love me.
just hate a bit(lot) about the way i think.
ok.
hahahahaha.. funny shittee.
